Strength
by starah
Summary: A one-shot emotive exploration of Hinata's inner thoughts in Chapter 437.


Strength

A Naruto One-shot Fanfic

(Disclaimer: Many thanks to Sleepy Fans' translator, Sakura, for the translations used for this fanfic. Everything in this chapter happens in Chapter 437: "Confession". Please do not read this fanfic if you do not wish to be spoiled, and have not read that far yet. This chapter evoked some very powerful emotions, and I only wanted to give it a tribute one-shot. None of the chapter dialogue, or anything from Naruto for that matter, belong to me.)

-*-

The air was full of dust, choking her throat, but it could not dull her eyes.

There was no telling exactly what was going on. Nothing was right at the moment. There had been so much crashing as foundations crumbled to the ground; the air had been wrought with frantic screams and hollers, unceasing; there had been just so much movement-- no one could keep track of anything--

Now, she could see his outline clearly, and knew that his body was twitching with pain from the strange sticks embedded in him, that his face must be smothered in dirt, that he must be looking up at the enemy with emotion straining his eyes.

She couldn't take her eyes off him, not for a moment.

But that had always been the case.

The situation was critical. He was in real danger, and she could sense no one near enough to help him in time.

Her head was pounding, and the blood in her veins felt hot and cold; her chest tightened and ached at her own helplessness.

She was too weak. That had also always been the case.

There would never be anything more beyond this frenzy and tension, of all this confusion and horror, of utter ruin, if she went. She was no where near strong enough to last, to help even the slightest bit, and she knew it.

Her fingers felt sore; she had done too much already. She curled her fingers and felt them shake and quiver, and knew her lower lip was feeling the same.

Unbidden, a memory surfaced in her mind. She remembered this feeling, of pressing her knuckle lightly against her lips. Again, she heard a voice condemn her for it, for being so weak, so sordid, so pathetic. But louder than that, a voice had cut through, one she could distinguish out of hundreds... a voice she heard in dreams and in her thoughts countless times... He had strengthened her just by calling her name, and believing in her.

It wasn't about whether she could really do it or not. She realised that now.

The shaking stopped.

Her head finally clear, she moved.

The difference in power was monstrous. Even knowing it beforehand did not make it any easier to bear, to sense the towering wall she could not overcome. The enemy had been too surprised by her first attack to do anything about it, but now that he knew, she had lost that upperhand.

But she knew it didn't matter. Not now.

The words came flawlessly. "I won't let you lay another finger on Naruto!"

She hadn't even had to think about it. Though her eyes were trained on this intruder who had turned her world upside down, her mind was no where near him.

They were all on the young man behind her.

"What are you doing here?!" His voice, so usually loud and raucous, was now scratchy and panicked. "Get out of here! You're no match--"

"I know."

"What...?"

He sounded so uncomprehending. She couldn't look at him.

"I'm... just being selfish..."

"What're you talking about?!" He was starting to sound angry, on top of his confusion. "What're you doing here?! It's dangerous!!"

"...I'm here of my own free will."

He fell silent, obviously in disbelief and confused by this insanity on her part.

At least, the last thing she would hear was his voice. Morbid though the thought was, it made her smile.

Then the words she had kept in her heart fell effortlessly from her lips.

"I used to always cry and give up... I nearly went the wrong way..."

The number of times in the past she had curled up and soaked her sleeves with tears, shuddering at her own uselessness... How much she had allowed fear and despair to cloud her, to reign her, she could recall with agonising detail.

But...

"But you..."

...She had always been watching him.

"You showed me the right way."

He was what made her try.

"I was always chasing you... wanting to overtake you..."

No... that wasn't all there was to it, but her voice was going out on her. She took a shallow breath, and practically whispered,

"I just wanted to walk with you. I wanted to be with you..."

All past tense.

She raised her chin, held her arms up to fight; her own words were making her feel light-headed and giddy, but their weight kept her grounded.

"You changed me. Your smile saved me! So I'm not afraid to die protecting you."

He was the one person who gave her strength, even to the end.

"Because..."

And she knew why she could say it now.

Weak and sordid and pathetic though she normally was, this was not one of those moments. To know that she could so willingly give up her life, meagre though it was, in efforts to protect and save the one bright light she'd grown to depend on -- it gave her the courage to finally say it.

"I love you."

Nothing had ever felt so wonderful and awful at the same time. Her heart burned, but her mind stayed focused.

She would never see his face, his reaction to the truth she had just spoken, but it couldn't be helped; she didn't dare take her eyes off the enemy even for the briefest of moments.

Perhaps it was better that way.

She gathered all the chakra she could muster through her body, urging it to her fingertips, pushing it through the painfully clogged and over-used muscles as she ran forward, the wind and dust whipping her cheeks and hair, and she saw it.

Briefly before her eyes, in her mind.

She saw him by her side at the village square, smiling his sunny smile. Saw his fingers gently brush against hers accidentally as he reached for chopsticks at the ramen stand. Saw his eyes on her as she talked about her dreams, his clear blue gaze electrifying. Saw them just walking, talking, laughing out loud together.

She saw it all, these moments, of being by his side, all these moments that would never be.

And a split second later, before she could perform her own attack, a force she could not reckon with - an indescribable power - exploded right into her. She fell gracelessly to the ground, limp as a doll.

All she could see was the sky, billowing clouds of dust, strands of her dark hair strewn over her face across her eyes... Warm blood trickled out the side of her mouth, but she could not move.

So that was how long she could last. She wished she could have lasted just a little bit longer, but she supposed this made sense.

As her enemy loomed before her, those strange eyes merciless, she knew.

He raised his arm, but she kept her eyes open.

There was only one person on her mind.

If she cared to recall it, there was so much pain in her life, in her childhood, on this day, during these last few moments.

But this...

This would not hurt at all.

-

-

-fin- 


End file.
